I know why it happens the way it does.  It is so it doesn’t break a Mama’s heart into a million kazillion pieces all at once-never to be put back together again.  Don’t get me wrong,  it did break this Mama’s heart, but I learned to live with it.  The day we took Mini Me to Belmont and delivered him to his dorm, I thought I would die. I cried the entire way home.  The Middle Child can attest to that – poor thing had to ride all the way back to Atlanta with me, sobbing and reminiscing.  JC and The Baby were in a totally different car, and I can assure you that there were no theatrics going on in there! I would not allow The Middle Child to play the sad songs on the Hamilton soundtrack.  I could not bear to listen to them.  I had the ugly cry going on for 4.5 hours.  I think that is probably the longest period of time that I have held the ugly cry.  Nobody should hold it that long-that is a ridiculous amount of time!   When we rolled into our driveway and I walked into the kitchen, seeing Mini Me’s empty chair at the kitchen table set me off into hysterics again.  JC shook his head and walked upstairs.  There was no consoling me.  I went down in Mini Me’s bedroom.  He had left one of his favorite blankets.  For a split second, I thought about jumping in my car and driving it up to him in Nashville. I did not want him to need his blanket to get to sleep! Then, in a split second of sanity, I took that blanket up to my room.  I put on my pajamas and curled up in my bed, holding tight to that blanket.  I slept with it for about 6 months.  Of course it was not 6 months before we saw him! It was just the getting used to him not being at home all the time.  It hurt.

Mini Me’s entire Freshman year, I looked forward to summer vacation! I knew we would have to move him out of the dorm, and I looked forward to that–even though I despise moving.  I knew that moving him out of the dorm meant moving him back home-if only for 3 months.  The talk of him living off campus started mid first semester.  I knew it would.  It did with me. It did with his dad.  It is totally normal.  I did not take into consideration all that living off campus would actually mean.

JC and I actually found his house.  His roommate from the dorm was going to live with him.  They had quite the set up.  My Dad gave them a lot of really nice furniture.  Mini Me had a king size bed with a mattress that beats the hell out of mine!  In August, we drove to Nashville and moved them in.  I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and spent $400 on things like spatulas, silver ware, mixing bowls, cookie sheets, etc.  Then I went to Dollar Tree and spent $150 on things like plates, glasses, cooking utensils, shelf paper, and other gadgets.  JC and I spent the whole weekend cleaning the house and setting it up for them.

At the end of that year, Mini Me had decided on some new roommates and they found their own house.  In fact, they moved themselves!  I don’t even know his address (JC knows it).  This summer, Mini Me has come home a couple of times to play shows here in Atlanta, but he has not come home for any length of time-except to go to the beach with us, which was great.

The other day, one of the grandmother’s asked The Baby about Mini Me-how he was doing and what not.  The Baby promptly said, “He doesn’t live here.  He follows Phish everywhere. We really don’t hear from him.”  I was shocked.  I had never thought of Mini Me ‘not living here anymore’ or of us ‘not really hearing from him’. AND, he better not be following Phish everywhere! He BETTER be going to CLASS!!!! But, after I thought about it a little, without shedding a tear, I had to agree with The Baby.  Mini Me doesn’t live here anymore.