Elvis Has Left the Building

We had to be at Belmont the next morning at a specified time. I can no longer remember what that specified time was, but sure as hell, we were running late.

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Fifth Grade Cynic

I have been a cynic since the fifth grade.  In my opinion, I'm lucky I made it that far. I can pinpoint the exact moment that my life changed for the worse.  It was going so well.   We lived in a nice neighborhood.  We had a pool at our house.  We had a sauna in our …

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Don’t Ever Break Him

When I was pregnant with Mini Me, I was terrified that something would be terribly wrong with him--mostly because of all of the terrible things I had done during my very in-depth studies for my PhD in partying at the University of Georgia.  Of course I was not pregnant with Mini Me during these studies, but I …

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Talkin’ Bout the Car Wash…yeah yeah yeah yeah

  My stepsisters came to stay with us every other weekend, and it was something I had grown to look forward to.  I had lived for 15 years with only a brother, and found that I really liked these stepsisters  a lot--in fact, I grew to love them a lot over the years.  One of …

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The African Mask

I am a creature of habit.  I do not like change.  My Daddy is an architect, and when I was seven years old, he bartered his architecture services for a share in a condo at Litchfield Beach, SC. That condo is where I still vacation every year, even now, 38 years later. I am telling …

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The Note

When Mini Me was a toddler, our relationship was volatile at best.  We both wanted to make the rules.  No matter how much of a fight I put up, he just would not back down.  He was, and continues to be, one of the most stubborn children on the planet.  Hell, I would bet all …

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Shot Through the Heart…

When Mini Me was two or so, I had an epiphany. I was in dire need of adult conversation. Mini Me was in dire need of child conversation....

The God Dammit Cookie

Children really do repeat everything that they hear their parents say: the good, the bad, and everything in between-but you can pretty much bet your ass they are going to repeat any and every single bad thing that comes out of your mouth. When my Mini Me was one and a half, he and I …

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