The Damn Pinterest Beaded Chandelier Project From Hell

This is why I do not go on Pinterest very often.  I do have an account.  People do follow me.  I am not sure why.  Well, I think I actually do know why.  My friends know that I am always working on something.  I am sure that there are some people who think I am probably on Pinterest 24/7, and therefore, I may be posting my projects there. Or something. Let me set you straight.   I am rarely on Pinterest, and when I am, it is usually accidentally.  It is usually because I have googled something, and I clicked on a picture and I ended up on Pinterest, completely unintentionally.  This is exactly how I found the DIY (Do It Yourself–yep, I actually had to look that one up not too terribly long ago) Beaded Chandelier Project From Hell.  It is, of course, not actually called that.  There are many versions of this project.  Most of them start with a wire hanging plant basket from the Dollar Store.  Many of them call for plastic mardi gras beads.  I do not work with plastic beads. Plastic beads are not a medium that I will ever stoop to working with.  So, I set out on a mission to find unpainted wooden beads at an affordable price.  I figured I would need about 500, but would buy 1000, so that I could at least make 2 of these seemingly-at-the-time, really cool things.  In fact, in my head, I had already made about 10 of them as gifts–in all different colors.  That will not be happening.   I had picked up 2 wire baskets at the local Dollar Tree.  I found a great online company and ordered 1000 1/2 inch, unpainted wooden beads for $9.99, with $9.99 shipping, from China, and it would take about 12-14 days for them to arrive.  I ordered a swag lighting kit from Amazon for $9.99.  I figured out how to make the circular frame for the top of the chandelier and spliced the swag kit to make it fit.  I happen to know a little about electrical work.  I had the frame for the thing all set up and the light part actually worked.  The only problem was that the long cord was black.  I have some great swag lights in my bedroom that I bought from World Market.  The cords are covered with jute.  I decided I would cover this cord with jute.  It was not hard to do this.  I used the hot glue gun, very carefully, and not very often, securing the jute in spots to the cord, and wrapping the jute tightly.  I had my show playing on my iPad while I did this because it took hours. And hours. After that part was finished, I really wanted to have a partay, but I was not nearly finished.  All of those damn beads needed to be painted.  I started stringing the beads because I thought that it would be easier to paint them while strung.  I figured out how many I needed on each string.  I tied each end to one of my ladder back dining room chairs and started painting them.  Yes, with a brush.  Do not even ask me why I did not spray paint them.  I am a terrible spray painter.  It would have been a total mess. The dripping. The sticking. It would have been horrendous.  The paint with a brush covered them much better.  Painting the beads while strung took two forevers.  I decided this was not working.  I got a cookie sheet and a piece of parchment paper.  I cut a bunch of toothpicks in half.  I stuck a half of a toothpick in each bead, in order to hold it in place on the cookie sheet, then I held the toothpick and painted as much of the bead as I could, without having it stick to the parchment paper.  Oh my GOD. This was the biggest pain in the ass.  WHY had I even looked for this project? It was not like we even needed this light fixture! I could not even remember what had led me to it in the first place! I must have completely lost my mind.  I kept painting.  It took days.  It took weeks.  I started stringing the beads and hanging them on the contraption.  The contraption was now hanging on a yardstick that was positioned between the two ladder back chairs.  It quickly became apparent that 500 beads was not going to do it.  I kept painting and stringing.  When I had finally finished painting all 1000 beads, it still was not enough to cover all of the open space, but there was no room at the top or the bottom to actually hang any more beads!  My solution was strips of ribbon, which was not even a solution to the problem!  I was SO over  this project. I really wanted to set the damn thing on fire, but I had spent so much time on it!  I finally got to the finishing touches part, which I actually enjoyed doing–adding the jute trim.  I was, and am, actually quite pleased with the way this damn thing turned out; however, I went down to the playroom and hung it.  I put the bulb in and turned it on. I absolutely HATE the damn thing when it is turned on!!! So….for now, it is just hanging there and we are not using it.  I am looking for another bulb that I might like better.  I am thinking maybe a black light……

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From the Peanut Gallery.....

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