Here it is, a week before Christmas, and I just finished decorating.  I don’t think that has ever happened before.  I managed to twist Mini Me’s arm enough so that he and his friend (and bandmate) Jody (who will now be known to us as ‘Cody’ because the music teacher, who is also a friend of mine, kept calling him that)  played guitar for the 4th grade program at my school yesterday.  They even participated in our “tacky holiday/winter wear dress-up day” and wore ugly sweaters.  I am pretty sure that the kids loved them.  I do not think that Mini Me and Cody will be fulfilling my dream of them playing in the lunchroom on Tuesday, though…. Mini Me’s expression tells it all.

This is the first year that I have truly considered not buying a Christmas Tree.  Of course, this was only in my head and not discussed with anyone else in my household, and we did get a real tree.  Mini Me, The Middle Child, and The Baby each have a fake tree in their bedrooms, so it’s not like I was going to deprive anyone of anything.  I was just feeling particularly grinchy  and not in the mood. You see, I am the one who goes into the attic each year and gets out the 10 red and green Rubbermaid containers of Christmas shit. Usually, there is nobody standing at the bottom of the attic stairs to hand the containers to. I am the one who puts up every tree, decorates every tree, puts all of the empty containers back into the attic, and then gets them all down after Christmas is over, and undecorates every tree and puts it all back again.  I am the one who gets the bigger Rubbermaid containers out of the shed in the backyard and carries them to the front yard.  I am the one who puts up all of our outdoor decorations and lights, and I am the one who has to take it all down and put it all back.  JC does not enjoy getting ready for Christmas-that is what he told me when I once asked him to ‘get into the holiday spirit’ and ‘let’s put the outdoor decorations up together’.   Quite frankly, it is all a big pain in the ass.  When I was a little younger, and the kids were a little younger, all of this brought me great joy-they would get so very excited.   Now? not so much.  Now, it brings me sciatica and nerve pain in my back, and makes my toes numb and tingly.  The kids don’t give a rat’s ass if their trees are up- otherwise they would help me decorate them.  That, alone, should be the sign that I should stop. Yet…this year, I did it once again.  ‘Tradition’, I called it, (in my head).  This year, I threw something new, albeit a little creepy, into my dining room decor.  I dressed up all 12 of our American Girl dolls- in holidayish attire, and set them out around the hearth and dining room tree.  That was all fun and games until The Middle Child came to me and said, “Mom, when my friends come over for my gingerbread house party next week, you have to put my dolls up.  It’s embarrassing.” Damn It.  I told her there was nothing embarrassing about her dolls-they are her damn dolls! And, they are not moving! She stomped off.  I spent hours dressing those bitches! Do you know how long it took me to find all the fucking shoes????? And I did their hair!!!! For the love of GRINCHMAS, they are staying the hell out!!!! And The Middle Child can just get the hell over it!!

I am about over our Elf.  It’s so boring.  I can’t really tell if The Baby still believes or not.  He goes down to find Elvis, and then he will be like ” oh, yeah, he hides there every year-whatever”.  And I am like well, shit. I got up out of my warm ass bed to go move this fucker…. I really think the jig is up, but I will keep on keepin’ on….I do think I am going to have to start getting creative again, but I am just so damn tired and I don’t really want to make a mess I am going to have to clean up!!! 

Mini Me sent his grandparents his Christmas List. I think the cheapest thing on the list was $400. This was their response, prior to them asking for an updated list, which he did send.  

Christmas was once my favorite time of year.  I think I have moved on and now Summer is my favorite time of year.  Nobody has any special performances.  Nobody has to take special gifts or food anywhere.  I am not expected to be anywhere at any certain time, with any particular food items, for any specific length of time…Yep. Summer is where it’s at for me. Zero obligations. I am now in the “gotta get through the holidays” mode.  I miss the olden days.