Most people who really know me, know that I have a great love for shoes. Unfortunately, my great love for shoes does not span far and wide and it does not include any and all shoes. I will admit that I am a bit of a shoe snob; however, I do have limits. I absolutely will not buy shoes at Wal-Mart, Target or Payless. T.J. Maxx stopped carrying “good stuff” a long time ago, and Marshall’s was never even on my list. I have terrible feet. I recently had extreme foot surgery. I had a tendon completely removed, a FDL transfer, a hole in my arch repaired, and a complete bunionectomy-all at the same time and all on the same foot. The recovery has been long and arduous. Lately, I have only been in the market for athletic shoes, even though I have been able to be anything but athletic.

I should probably be ashamed to say that you will not find an off-brand shoe in my closet , and yes, I know how heinous that sounds. Even my rubber flip-flops are J.Crew. I’ve worn those babies for years and years. I am madly in love with three pair of Tory Burch sandals. One pair I have owned for at least 6 years (they are starting to really show my love for them) and the other two for at least 3. They are all flat, flat, flat. They all have wrap around ankle straps, and they are all CLASSIC and can, and will be, worn until they fall off of my feet. Yes, they were pricey, but I have taken immaculate care of them.

I tried to wear Tory Burch rubber flip flops. I especially liked the wedge flip flops, but they kept breaking! Finally, after I had returned the third pair, a salesgirl at Nordstrom told me that Tory Burch shoes are THE most returned item at Nordstrom. This was after I had already purchased the three pairs of ankle strap, flat, flat, flat sandals that I adore. I stopped buying Tory Burch shoes after she told me that. They are seriously over priced, and the ballet flats are even more seriously uncomfortable.

In addition to my Tory Burch sandals, my closet is full of things like Frye Boots, Uggs, Vionic, Kate Spade, Louise et Cie, and my prized Robert Clerégie platform sandals that I bought in Paris two years ago. I might actually lay my life down for those things. They are the bomb diggity. I think I might even be cremated while wearing those things-especially since I want my ashes taken to France and spread over Jim Morrison’s grave at Père la Chaise…. I guess I need to put that in writing…

All of the shoes I have mentioned can be afforded, if wanted badly enough, by average people-especially shoe snobs like myself. These shoes are in somewhat of a “middle class”. Maybe that sounds naïve. Maybe those shoes are haute couture for some people and I have no idea what I am talking about. Who knows? What I do know is this: My dream shoe will never, ever be mine.

Like any random female, I like to sit on the couch, glass of wine by my side and MacBook in my lap, perusing the Nordstrom shoe collection from time to time. This is not an every day event-just something I happen to do when I am not washing clothes or cooking dinner or driving children to and from various events like school and whatnot. It was during one of these random shoe-perusing occasions that I came upon the holy, divine, example of sheer perfection that shall never be mine: The Valentino Rockstud Collection.

I have coveted the Rockstuds from afar for a couple of years now. There is the Rockstud Block Heel; The Rockstud Espadrille, The Rockstud Caged Pump; The Rockstud Slingback; The Rockstud Caged Ballet Flat; The Rockstud Ankle Strap Ballet Flat; The Rockstud Ankle Strap Sandal; The Rockstud Flat Flip-Flop Sandal; The Rockstud Bootie; The Rockstud Jellie Flip Flop; and the list goes on and on and on. AND there are purses to match, of course! The Rockstuds start at around $1100. The Rockstud Jellie collection starts around $500.

Recently, I had the rare opportunity to try on some Rockstuds. I was as excited as a little girl. I am not joking. My husband and I were at the mall for some strange reason that I cannot remember now. He humored me and allowed me the small pleasure of trying on a pair of Rockstuds. I was anxious while we were waiting on the salesman to bring them out. I knew we were not going to buy them and I felt badly for making the poor man bring them out for me. When he came out, he only had one pair in my size. He slid them on my feet. They were waaayyyyyy too wide. I could have fit my entire hand between the straps and my foot. “Thank God for that” I heard my husband say under his breath. The salesman simply said, “Well, the Rockstud is simply not for you.” I breathed out a deflated breath. No, the Rockstud is not for me-in more ways than one.

Oh, Valentino Rockstud, how I have loved you from afar. How I have obsessed over you! You are still my favorite and the most fabulous shoe on the planet, but I could have saved myself all of that angst if I had just tried you on in the first place! Then I would have known that you are definitely NOT the shoe for me. Ha.

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